By Rob Furlong
With the amazing increase in technological devices over the past 15 years our ability to stay in touch with each other, even in some of the remotest parts of the world, has increased exponentially. I would like to suggest however that our ability to communicate meaningfully with each other has not progressed at the same rate. If anything, it has gone backwards.
On a holiday a few years back (which included a buffet breakfast in beautiful tropical surrounds each morning) Karen and I were amazed at the number of couples sitting across from each other at the breakfast table gazing into their … iPads! In such a beautiful setting how sad it was to see people desperately checking their Facebook status rather than connecting with the one they claimed to love forever.
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Tag: relationships
Clarifying questions can combat confusion
By Rob Furlong
I had to pick up my grandchildren after school recently and being a reliable grandfather, I made sure I was there in plenty of time before the bell rang.
When I arrived, my grandson was outside his classroom door with one of his friends and busily packing his bag in preparation for leaving.
My grandson’s friend looked at me and turned to him and asked, “Is that your Grandad?”
“Yes!” answered my grandson.
And as naturally as you please, his friend said, “He doesn’t look funny at all!”
Two thoughts immediately went through my mind.
First, I was pleased I didn’t look funny!
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When a conversation is crucial
BY ROB FURLONG
Conversation is a part of life. We talk about all sorts of things and ideas; we talk to people and yes, we talk about people – conversation has a huge impact on our relationships.
And so does a lack of it. Have you ever regretted not having a conversation with someone?
Perhaps you feel you are being given the “cold shoulder” by a work colleague or your partner is upset with you about something. You know something is wrong between the two of you, but the other person isn’t saying what (apart from a few unsubtle hints) and you are too afraid to ask.
What needs to happen in situations like these is what some have described as a “crucial conversation.”
Don’t try to be a mind reader
By Rob Furlong
We have been talking this year about ways in which we can improve the quality of our relationships by learning and practicing some new skills.
This month, I want to talk about how we can avoid the damage done to our relationships when we make assumptions.
Carole Mayhall, co-author with her husband, Jack, of Marriage Takes more than Love, recounts a humorous story from their own experience, which highlights the danger of making assumptions about people.
“One evening Jack and I were looking at a full, lovely moon. It was an incredibly beautiful evening, and I said, “Isn’t that a beautiful moon?”
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Is your body language contradicting your words?
by Rob Furlong
The experts tell us that 70% of what we communicate to each other is non-verbal. This means when we are talking with people, they are going to be paying a lot more attention to the messages they are receiving from our body language than to what we are saying.
We know this fact to be true because we have all been on the receiving end of “conversations” where a person’s body language has spoken loudly and clearly!
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I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
By Rob Furlong
A favourite meme of mine is one where Robert Downey Jr. (who plays Tony Stark/Iron Man) has his arms crossed, eyes rolling backwards and the caption stating, “The face you make when the person you can’t stand is talking!”
For some strange reason, my eldest daughter sent this to me with the not- so -subtle suggestion that this is how I can be at times!
Yes – I confess – I have trouble being present with people in conversation occasionally, and I suspect I am not alone!
How can I (we) be more present with people?
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Big picture thinking about our relationships
By Rob Furlong
By the time you read this article 2021 will be well under way with one month having passed by already! (I just wanted to encourage you all!)
Nevertheless, it is still appropriate to ask what your plans this year are for personal growth and change and I am specifically referring to the area of your relationships.
What motivates change in us is having a picture of how we would like things to be. Once that bigger picture is established firmly in your mind then you make a commitment to start working steadily towards that picture.
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How Christmas changed marriage forever
By Rob Furlong
Have you ever wondered how different our world might be if Jesus had never been born?
For example, as a direct result of His emphasis on love, mercy and compassion, Christians set up organizations such as hospitals, universities, a just and fair judicial system, orphanages and centres caring for the poor.
All because a baby was born in a stable two thousand years ago.
One of the most profound impacts Jesus has had upon our world is in the area of our relationships, especially those between husbands, wives and the family unit.
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More strategies for dealing with anxiety
By Rob Furlong
Last month we began looking at ways of dealing with anxiety or helping support someone through it. Let’s consider some more helpful principles:
Music: It has been shown repeatedly that music has the power to alter the patterns of our brains as well as enhancing our ability to experience rest, serenity and peace.
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Experiencing the perfect father
By Rob Furlong
Bilquis Sheikh was born into a wealthy Pakistani family and although a Muslim, for the first forty-six years of her life, she neither embraced nor rejected her religious heritage.
This all changed when her marriage to a senior Pakistani Government minister collapsed. The divorce by her husband ignited a longing within her for spiritual truth and she quite naturally began with her Muslim faith.
Reading through the Koran she discovered it mentioned the prophet Jesus several times which led to her reading the New Testament to learn more about Him.
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